Ah, the beginning of a new year. What gifts do we seek? What virtues can we claim in these troubled times?
I find myself trying to simplify as one year winds down and the next revs up. It seems pretty apparent that I’m not going to accomplish all the January goals I set.

But does it really matter if I don’t?
Ah, yes, then I remember. As the newest world crisis screams from the headlines, as economies boil over, and new political enemies are declared on a daily basis, you can hear the low steady hum underneath it all: FORGIVE.

How necessary is this virtue? I’ve got a story that for me has always defined how crucial forgiveness really is.
I knew a guy who was so ill for many years that he had to leave his longtime job. He subsequently had little money and because he was newly married, he worried quite a bit about being able to support his wife. They lived in a small apartment across the street from a little neighborhood grocery store. Having lots of time on his hands, but not being able to work long hours due to his illness, Bert volunteered to help bag groceries at the store. He became friends with the owner, Hank, who began to show Bert the details of running a small business.
Bert grew stronger and Hank gave him more responsibility, eventually hiring him to run the store when he was away. Hank became Bert’s mentor in a new chapter of his life, and they became like brothers. Hank included Bert in many business decisions, including moving the store to a better and larger location.
After about two years, Bert still didn’t make much money, but enjoyed keeping the store organized and running well as Hank pursued a second career as a building contractor. Bert and his wife took a week’s unpaid vacation, and when he returned to work, was surprised when Hank met with him and said, “You’re no longer needed here.” What most startled Bert was  Hank’s eyes. They were closed off to him, like a shade had been pulled over any warmth or friendliness he once saw there.

“Hey, what’s up?” Bert asked.
“I can do everything you do, so you don’t need to stay,” replied Hank.
“Well, of course you can. You’re the one who taught me. You can’t be serious,” pleaded Bert. “What have I done wrong? You’ve gotta give me some reason for this. You’re trashing my self-esteem here.”
Their verbal exchanges grew more heated till both were yelling at each other. Bert finally shouted, “I quit!” and left the store.

He had never been so angry and confused in his entire life. He actually wanted to do physical harm to Hank. He vowed never to set foot in that store again. The next day, Bert got a quick job as a telemarketer just to make ends meet. He was miserable and still couldn’t release the anger he felt toward Hank.

Now, Bert was smart enough to know that this kind of anger could eat him alive if he didn’t forgive Hank, at least in his heart if he couldn’t do it to his face. So every night he prayed and anguished to let it go. “I forgive him, I forgive him….no, I don’t. I want to hurt him.”

This went on for almost six months. Bert’s inner turmoil was the proverbial “groaning and travailing,” yet he still couldn’t truly forgive Hank for this seemingly monumental injustice.

Finally one night as Bert prayed yet again to forgive his former friend, he felt something release inside. A liquid warmth flooded his body, squeezing extra moisture from his eyes. “I forgive him!  I really do!” Sleep was especially sweet that night.

The next day, Bert and his wife shopped in Hank’s store for the first time in many months. Hank nervously said hello from behind the cash register as they entered, and Bert simply smiled and said, “How’s it going?”
Within twenty-four hours Hank knocked on Bert’s apartment door. Looking a bit like a hunted criminal, he asked, “May I come in and talk with you?”

“Sure.  C’mon in. What’s up?”
“I want to tell you why I let you go six months ago from the store.”

Hank’s words astounded Bert. Hank explained that he had only ever had family members as business partners, and because he and Bert had grown close as friends, he became nervous that an “outsider” knew so much about his finances. He had decided when Bert was on vacation to cut him off and protect himself from any potential damage Bert might try to do to him.

“Hank, have I ever done or said anything to you that would make you think I was the kind of person who would even think that way?”

“No. And my heart was so closed off that I never realized it until you walked into the store yesterday and smiled at me the way you always did before. It released this hardness I had built up against you and I feel so bad about it.”

“To apologize for doing this to you, I want to make you manager of the store at a good salary, if you choose to return. And to really show you how sorry I am, I want to build you and your wife your first home, at my cost.”
As if struck by lightning, Bert instantly saw that without his efforts to forgive Hank, they would not be sitting there having this conversation. The best gift was their reclaimed friendship. Both their business and personal relationships blossomed as they rejoined forces, with Bert eventually buying the store from Hank when he moved on.

When Bert and his wife walked into their brand new home, they never forgot Hank’s generosity and the test of forgiveness that was required to receive the gift.

So, dear friends, when fear swirls around you, fear of failing finances or the future, remember to send the healing energy of forgiveness into every situation that burdens you.  You never know what gifts are just waiting to be placed on your doorstep.

Robert Worobec is the owner of Oak Street Natural Market & Deli in Bozeman and FoodWorks Natural Market in Livingston.