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What's Your Beef? An Open Letter to Bozeman Dog Owners

Wednesday May. 1st, 2019

Bozeman is a great place to live for humans and animals alike. There are countless areas to play and enjoy our community. They say everyone in Bozeman owns a black lab and drives a Subaru. If you live here, you can confirm that is true for the most part.

Lately, I have been seeing a lot of posts on social media about dog owners not picking up after their dogs. If you happen to find yourself in a public space in the Bozeman area, look out for land mines!

I’m writing this because I’ve recently been the victim of an irresponsible dog owner. My neighbor in Manhattan has been letting her dog relieve itself in my front yard. I actually caught my neighbor standing in my front yard the other night watching her dog in the act. I’ve been trying to figure out how to handle the situation in the best possible way.

I reached out to people listening to my show yesterday, and here’s the advice I received:

“I say put it in an Amazon box, get it a tad wet, tape up the box, and put it on her front porch. Hopefully, she opens it up on her kitchen counter!”

“ Flaming bag o’ ****”

“After you cook your bacon for breakfast pour the grease on the turds. The dog will take them back home with him.”

“Talk to her in person... Be kind and ask her to please keep her dog out of your yard. If all else fails, put up a wire and mark it as High Voltage! It worked on our neighbor. :) Good luck”

“Just get a chipping wedge and chip it back into her yard. Does wonders for your short game.”

“Tape this to her front door.”

“Put it in a bag and leave on her doorstep with a note that reads, ‘I think you left this in my front yard.’”

“Bag it or not bag it and put on the front doorstep.”

Owning a pet comes with the responsibility of caring for it. A part of that is cleaning up the waste it creates, especially if it’s in an area frequently used by others. If you take your dog or dogs for a walk every day, take a plastic bag with you. Also, as a pet owner, it is your responsibility to dispose of the plastic bag. Don’t just leave it lying on the ground.

If you have been to any of the area hiking trails, you’ve most likely seen bags of poo along the way. I know you probably don’t want to put it inside of your car, but that’s a lot better than leaving it for someone else to deal with. After all, it is your dog.

Needless to say, pet owners in the Bozeman area need to up their game. Clean up after your dogs. If you can’t handle the responsibilities that come along with dog ownership, maybe you should get a turtle. I hear they are pretty low maintenance.   

Jesse James is a radio personality at KMMS The Moose 95.1 and XL Country 100.7 in Bozeman, MT.